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Moi, aka Bubbles DeMarsh dear Reader, may currently be found near a small town in the heart of England called Ashby-De-La-Zouch, at a Health Spa called Champneys Springs, a place frequented by myself and my beloved Denise on numerous pre-Surgery-and-COVID occasions….

One dons ones white robe and flipflops, gets in sauna steam and swim mode and awaits the joys of a facial, pedicure and Head in the clouds Cocoon massage….whilst trying to avoid too much eye and teeth contact with the most smiley staff since Starbucks Seattle and all this while Staying Off The Booze!!!

They tested me early mind you, with Northwest Trains making me “run” for a replacement bus parked not as stated “outside the front of Rugby Station” but 500 yards away …. I only just survived thanks to the driver having to stop at strategically placed roadworks …..still, here I am.

It’s changed a bit from before now...

The Last leg. Or knee as my most dear friend Marianne Wit might put it, for sous chef baker raconteur and all round good surgery battered egg has hopefully just had her flipping final operation for a long long time and has been on crutches serving me home made delish muffins and tea at her domicile in Den Haag, aka The Hague…..

Not too much time to explore very much after the journey from hell (or Hamburg as we have to call it, via Amersfart, the interchange station either no lifts escalators or taste in scaffolding)…..

But hey we’re in Holland and they love beer of course, especially Belgian???? Oh well. Average pint cost in Norway £9 London £7.50 Stockholm £6.50 and Den Haag £4.50.

So it’s therefore bye bye Holland and a massively efficient early couple of trains to Brussels which is in Belgium by the way which means one stop before the end of the journey and Belgian Ticket...

Useful Fact: the Danish for Hand Disinfecting Gel is Hand Desinfektant Gel.

Well Copenhagen is indeed wunderbar, more tatty I’d say than Stockholm and Oslo apart from umpteen palaces and museums and glorious Harrods size Department stores, but with bags of character plus even a lively gay scene (unlike Sweden and Norway) and plenty of beer and canals and vice versa…..

Met up with dear old muso buddy Jorn which was of course fabulous. Plus finally realised Tivoli Gardens in the heart of the city is a really really tacky and run down Amusement Park (the rides are rusting away before the eyes)…. They claim to be the oldest and 2nd largest (and I’d add rustiest) Theme Park on the planet….

In my constant search for European cities with quaint brightly coloured houses in a row turned into fridge magnets, add Copenhagen to the list…..

Thence to Hamburg, home of the Star Club (where a...

Isn’t the club mix of Swedish Eurovision Star’s “Euphonium” the best? Really is…there have been other Swedish pop groups like that one** who did “Thingie Thingie Thingie”, “Chicken Cheater”, “My Nando” and others ….but Loreen’s Euphonium is easily the best.

(** By the by, you can pay a £100 in London to see that other pop group perform at a gig they’re not at, but provide some sustenance to the families of the backing band, who are actually there.)

So now we’re in Sturka-home, capital of Sveden. The deluxe first class carriage taking me there came complete with free bananas, sweeties and coffee, so I’m geared up for a couple of days of touristen trappen despite an hour or “sixty three minutes delay due to the train not arriving on time in Oslo”.

Figures.

What a day, arriving in Stockholm at -7 deg 2 hour late, then some lovely folk steered me to a lift to take me down to ground...

Well the ship is called Castor (as in Pollux) but it’s being pronounced more and more like the dessert sauce, so that’s what it is.

OK. I last left you Dear Reader, in a flipping STORM. What happened NEXT?

WELL …12 hours later it got a bit calmer, even managed beer bar book and iPad plus a decent kip..

We’re in the grim rain just leaving the Arctic Circle so they’re selling us Trollbrygg which is mulled apple juice cinnamon and rum in a souvenir tin cup for a tenner served on deck 8 in the rain! Warming….

Guess the sights on the Southbound part of this journey are a bit deceptively described, cos 8 months of the year, you can’t see ‘em! And if it’s raining then Northern Lights are tricky too… wonder if there’s a Traden Descriptionnss Actt?

Geek time for me is Day 13: invited to see the Bridge on the ship. Lordy. Sleek, SpaceX like, ship a hybrid Battery/LNG vessel (Natural...

Woo and many would add Hoo. Flipping North I tell you. Way up in the Arctic Circle. It’s glorious gorgeous and soooooo friendly! It’s even Arctic Pride now in Tromsø the most Northern City on Earth! Fave place after Bergen I’d say. Done 3 bars even an 1877 microbrewery and another which is one of the most relaxed mini-chain of bars on this planet called No Stress where people are chatty, play cards and scrabble, and drink beers and cocktails in a pretty smiley way. Mind you, back home at The Bridge & The Clapham North they still smile at me (in pity probably). Thanks folks.

Tromsø then. They were eating supper at 15.15 here today…it’s so dark and very Christmassy too….but really really lovely in its own way. Olde Worlde if you like. Whereas in June they have daylight all day huh. Go Figure… couple of little chats about Trump with some of the local tourists, but hey who cares? At the...

Trondheim was a fog of a visit, “Romantic multi-coloured wooden houses lining waterways which wend through Norway’s Third City…..”

HUMBUG. Was all covered in fog mist and SUBWAY shop signs gleaming through the gloaming, and a most undelightful rapid schlepp back to Mrs Castor (the ship) along a misty motorway got me back on board for more Full Board and lodgings, after the previous evening’s utter glory of about a half hour of Aurora Borealis, Northern Lights to you, Nigel. Ably assisted by the exposure time toggle of my spanking new iPhone 16 Pro Max Bygraves, suddenly greens and hints of reds to come emerge across the night sky, thus fulfilling a life long List item de Bucket….and at these prices (darn reasonable actually), how lovely would it be for more more and even more as we cross tomorrow morning into THE ARCTIC CIRCLE.

In other important news, the Oslo IPA in the bar ain’t...

Hi Betwixt Fans (all 7 of you). Norway Calling.

Days 3 and 4 were indeed spent in the rather gorgeous coastal port city of Bergen! So…..

PHEW NICK YOU:
Lee, Lah and Low! (Bit obscure but I like it).

Up the top over the city and it’s truly gorgeous afjording great views and water way to see the coastline! My cruise leaves here tonight….but my hotel, and the town, is populated with blonde sweet folk and plenty of Metallica T-Shirted types all happily hippy and from a time I wish we could return to with hardly any football on in bars and hardly any re-elected US presidents owning golf courses…..

Norway is probably my fave Eurovision country so I’m pleased it’s so beautiful. Oslo yet to be explored (after my ship’s ahoyed) but they certainly give good Peak.

I’ll be back at this hotel after the cruise when I’ll still look forward to the lift arriving at my floor and a disembodied...

I dunno, Terminal 3 Heathrow is a bit of a let down after recent years of FIVE FIVE FIVE. Still, as a Calcutta Born Brit I STILL feel a shade guilty when a truly delightful Indian perhaps waiter in Business Lounge (or BA Gallery) gets asked by me for champagne and he brings it with bow Bollywallah Style dutifully and happily …well, I’ve paid me Club World Dues, now I’ll drink em …..

This Betwixt is all about LIGHTS WHICH ARE NORTHERN YET WHICH HAVE BEEN VISIBLE IN CORK AND BLACKPOOL ALL FLIPPING YEAR!!!!

First….flight to Oslooooooooo…

Aaah well we’re up skywards and I have beautiful designer tea and two tanquerays so feeling more pacified…..

More gins are just the wee bit of tonic later needed to get this schlep started. Despite my central Oslo hotel being rather bleak, well that’s Nor Way to treat a lady so whilst some US Comedy Election is carrying on, I go to a couple of...