Betwixting The Ashes: Part One “Sydney and The Reef of Great Barrier”

Let’s talk OZ RAIL. It’s rather like the Trainline Company of the US of A. Quite a lot really. Ya gotta wonder why these forward thinking countries (ish) are soooooo BACKWARD about RAIL!????? F’rinstance Australian Cities can be greatly distanced from each other….an efficient super competitive rail system should prevent people hopping endlessly on planes.

ANYWAY To get from Sydney’s Central Station half way up the coast to Brisbane is a three times a week 15 hour journey on old British Rail Intercity 125 “stock” downgraded to 100mph, and THE ONE I WENT ON stopped five hours short “due to staff shortage” and I was replacement bussed. Bust. Truly ghastly to do this at 2am…and as I was straightaway heading up to Cairns on the Great Barrier Reef for some genuine R&R and pretty views of fish, ie ANOTHER 26 Hours on a train, well it now seems madness not to fly. But I didn’t. So there. Another carbon tootsieprint less.

I HAD after all had the bumpiest flight of my life with Thai Comedy Airways Bangkok to Sydney where a) the staff were all sadists refusing to assist with more booze when seriously needed and b) the meals consisted of 43 different little bits some of which were definitely repackaged Wrigley’s….oh and c) the pilot must have been plastered, and it wasn’t helping a gentleman behind me who needed extra oxygen during I guess a panic attack (used to be me, nearly was again)….

Fortunately I started singing to myself that old Bob Hope tune “Thanks for the valium…”

Even having to immediately return to Sydney Airport from my hotel cos I’d dropped my passport wallet thing didn’t fracture my resolve, in fact when they actually handed it to me I felt I deserved three special things: 3 pints at the oldest pink bar in Sydney (almost immediately)….

Still, seeing two most dear friends on my day off (the next one) in glorious Sydney was something special even if my portion of delicious fish and chips was enough for a family of 12. For batter or worse, I ate the lot.

I hugely wish the best for my pals, and they know what I mean…..

Mind you, from the ridiculous to the Sublime!!! The Brisbane to Cairns train is easily the most bizarre I have ever travelled in and on…. It kinda looks like there’s a series of cryogenic chambers rammed into each compartment with so many gadgets attached to each seat it’s hard to keep up! Loads of meals aka school dinners are included as is some booze but it’s just all incredibly over the top!! It’s called the Spirit of Queensland and I thoroughly recommend it to any Australia visitors purely for sci-fi value! Plus it’s got the biggest khazi/shower/selection of Roo Lolls known to Kangaroo!

Strewth! Well, the main bucketlist reason for being in Oz is to witness the Ashes. It’s a cricket thing. Australia v England and whoever wins the series wins a replica urn with the original containing the burnt out ashes of English Cricket kept at Lords in London. What’s a Greek Urn? Nope no jokes of that nature here.

(40 Euros a week)

So. Australia. Everyone says Hi and means it!

People chat readily on buses trains and in the flipping street! In 10 days in Sydney on two trains now Cairns I’ve had more chats with strangers than in years in the UK!

Well for a start the vast majority of Aussies live on the coast which is universally stunningly beautiful as is the weather most of the time. I flew over all of Oz NW to SE and it’s mostly unpopulated and uninviting brown beige and not very exciting. The coastal cities though are like some in Europe USA and even UK in places …stunning and picturesque and I reckon make people feel genuinely happier than elsewhere. Gawd what a contrast after all I saw in India and even the irritation of Bangkok and MAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAJJJJJ in Pattaya ….

So far in Oz:

“I love the shirt”
Then….
“Lookin good mite!” bloke in street to me!

So Cairns is a not enormous but adequately sized and a pretty gorgeous City with beaches going on and on all the way up to the quieter Port Douglas via “Hampstead on Sea” Palm Cove….

There are fab bars a zillion restaurants a billlion hospitals and it all looks BRAND NEW FRESH AND CLEAN, and everybody without exception seems happy! The weather is hot all year round and the many boats in the marina take every tourist out to the inner Barrier Reef (Islands like Green and Fitzroy) or to the outer where glass bottomed boats submersibles and snorkellers analyse the 1600 types of coral plus loads and shoals of fishies, turtles sharks and thieves (sorry Cher)…. It’s gentle beautiful and occasionally populated by marine biologists like Natalie from Cambridge who studied at Plymouth as did my dear friend Sarah (hi Sarah!)….

Reminds me hugely of the space and beaches of Fort Lauderdale but there everyone parks their boat at the back (canals everywhere) and cars at the front. In Cairns they use the marina, Aqua Marina!

Did Palm Cove, a most beautiful place 45 mins north of Cairns in torrential rain but thanks to O’Donnell’s Irish Bar a delish pint of Kilkenny came to the rescue and the sun came out! My chat mates on the bus from Coventry have been here 3 times….

Then some days are magical when you least expect them ! Meeting another family member Becky and Pa Warwicke soooooo special ….why ram this down your throat Dear Reader? Cos sometimes when you think some things can’t get better in life, yup they do. Deep ha?

Down slightly lonely moments encroach occasionally but hey, not for too long you’re ALL DELIGHTED TO KNOW!

After my last Cairns day involving a fantastic trip to another Beach hotel bar happy hour fabulous, had a great phone convo with Andreas back at the ranch….and in this way I’m about to bye bye to the far north of Australia and the wonder of the Great Barrier Reef.

Thus, early next morning I’m on the 25 hour train back to Brizzie (it says here), where this announcement makes me chortle: “we do apologise for the inefficiency of the Airconditioning in the train today. This is caused by the heat outside and we hope in the evening when it’s cooler inside the AC should become more effective…..”. Honest truth.

NEXT STOP 2 WEEKS PLUS IN BRISBANE

TTFN DEAR DEAR reader.

Christopher Australia Nov 2025 xxx