Betwixting The Ashes: Part Two “Harry Brizzer and the Curse of Gabba”

Time she flies time she flies Dear Reader.

Phew.

Phew. India, Thailand and Australia. How do they most differ from the UK? Well, if you’re chilly you go inside in the UK, the others you simply “better go, walk out the door, don’t look around now, cos you’ll be warmer evermore…”

BRISBANE AUSTRALIA THEN. Lordy. Phew. Brizzie. Brisbane. Another stunning pretty modern city with a snakelike river in the middle leading to the sea with the Sunshine Coast to the north and the Gold Coast (including former hippie colony Byron Bay) to the South. I arrive and do a few cups of delish coffee in the Roamer cafe opposite the Roma station (see what they did there?), before walking the 1km stroll (phew) with my bags through the CBD (as these areas are universally termed these days) to a fab hotel with the greatest view possible!

The Fortune of the Phew.

I unpack only to see on my room TV they’re showing the first Ashes Test from Perth. And we get hammered in two days. Brisbane Test next week. I’m genuinely heartbroken as we should have won it. Instead we got Bashed, Battered, Bazballed Beyond Belief. Bewildered and Bothered. BALONEY.

Beaten. Broken? Bah!

I sulkily stroll to the nearest pub and it’s an Irish bar with loadsa jubilant Aussie fans. I’ve got 2 more months of this …..HELPPPPP!

I love Brisbane as much as I love Australians….not a hint of cynicism or sarcasm which my buddy mentor Steve James and I destroy at lunch by bringing both those things in spades….ha!!!!

The Taming of the Phew.

It’s very very hot here the Barrier Reef heat but with the City humidity ….fir instance heat exhaustion crossing the flipping river walkway 37 deg but direct sunlight and extra humid day….and my Cuz says he’s put my heating on in London 24/7! He’s gone there to avoid me I reckon.

Cold cold beers in a cold cold CBD bar helping before my next stop….

BUSES. Most popular route is “Sorry Not In Service” which goes EVERYWHERE.

BUT they’re either FREE or 50 cents to ANYWHERE as are the less than 2 hour journey TRAINS which are ALL WiFi Airconned and a delight to travel in (the long distance ones are rubbish though)….

There’s loos galore, fans galore and lifts galore for the infirm and especially me. With Sydney and Melbourne having great free trams and buses too, and it costing 5p in India even for heaven’s sake, the UK is really far behind. We have pricey tram services in Manchester say but they’ve destroyed the City building them (*** debatable, Dear Reader, yes I know but hey, I went to Uni there so am entitled to a bijou opinionette…).
On the London tube it’s £4.50 for ONE STOP.

FOOD

Well…..one has consumed: A Korean Kimchi (kinda spicy cabbage casserole with pork and peppers in my case plus a lot of napkins) ….a Brizzy Burger (6ft tall with lots of everything they had in the vicinity)….plus a Viet-Namby Pamby Noodle All The Day…..there’s loads of noodly places here….Vietnamese Korean Japanese Thai Chinese French…oh no that was poodle…..

Then there was the river trip ending up in a Koala Sanctuary with a sideline in their herbal products some of which they export to the UK, usually arriving by ship at Liverpool Docks via the river!! The marvellous thing is that these drinks are so pure and fine that they don’t need filtering through sieves…

Hence the expression (here it comes):

THE KOALA TEA OF MERSEY IS NOT STRAINED ©️Betwixt/rpl desperate for a laugh enterprises 2025

Gawd that WAS a lovely day too meeting cricket fan and Leicester person Richard on the boat and having a good old chat there and back….he’s going to ALL the cricket so hopefully will catch up!

A second Gawd is required for the koalas who are in their cuteness the cutest cuties ever encountered. The 23 hour video show is available upon my return (should I manage to edit it down)…..

Seeing some movies, lots of sightseeing and lots of fooding and drinking well what COULD go wrong??? Even watching 12 amazing Irish musicians doing their thing one night in another local Guinness House was a joy…..

OK IT’S TIME FOR:

The Highs and Lows of Being An England Cricket Supporter Volume One: Pre The Ashes in Australia

From Age 10 keeping scorecharts from the telly to last weekend unpacking my bags in my Brisbane hotel watching the first England v Australia test carnage from Perth on my room telly….

It has always nigh on broken my heart a bit every time England do badly at cricket. It does at the age of 69 MUCH MORE. Why? Auntie Jo and Steve James will both tell you what team passion is all about….I’m not sure I totally understand it. But there are moments of such highs (Joe Root getting his first century Down Under yesterday was life enhancing in the extreme, today dropping 5 catches as Australia eased past our total was heartbreaking in its own way…)..

Well this 2nd Test involved our skipper fighting a bit before the inevitable crushing defeat. Truly miserable and heart splintering one more time. Only three more Test Maulings and I’ll be there every day at Games 4 and 5 in Melbourne and Sydney where there’ll be friends and family plus Christmas and New Year PLUS the entire touring Barmy Army to sing along with….

Song Sung Phew.

The Irish Bar Gilhoolies had a terrific music session with a bunch of folks doing riddly riddly reels on pipes mandolins banjos violins and more……was glorious and eased some of the pain leading to my final two games and 6 weeks in total here in glorious Australia….

Kanga and Baby Phew.

Saying bye bye to the lovely friendly quite gay Fortitude Valley in Brisbane. Happy Memories and said bye to Scouser Chris whose next stops in life are Sydney and Bali!

Final day involves treats (“more treats?”-non existent Ed.) YES. Eekbook steered me to Mi Casa for strawberry and banana waffles so….why not ???

So fingers are well and truly crossed….

One more visit to Gilhoolies for live music and a Kilkenny via a gorgeous Country and Western cocktail bar and that’s me lot.

It’s a very very Christmassy Brisbane I’m leaving and on the whole it’s been terrific, also especially hooking up with another cousin Viv and hubby an hour north on the gorgeous Sunshine Coast, and on that happy note, it’s Tata from me.

Phew!

Merry Christmas all.

©️ Christoph for Betwixt Global Productions, December 2025 xx