Oh Lordy, Betwixt Goes Afjordable in Skanders

I dunno, Terminal 3 Heathrow is a bit of a let down after recent years of FIVE FIVE FIVE. Still, as a Calcutta Born Brit I STILL feel a shade guilty when a truly delightful Indian perhaps waiter in Business Lounge (or BA Gallery) gets asked by me for champagne and he brings it with bow Bollywallah Style dutifully and happily …well, I’ve paid me Club World Dues, now I’ll drink em …..

This Betwixt is all about LIGHTS WHICH ARE NORTHERN YET WHICH HAVE BEEN VISIBLE IN CORK AND BLACKPOOL ALL FLIPPING YEAR!!!!

First….flight to Oslooooooooo…

Aaah well we’re up skywards and I have beautiful designer tea and two tanquerays so feeling more pacified…..

More gins are just the wee bit of tonic later needed to get this schlep started. Despite my central Oslo hotel being rather bleak, well that’s Nor Way to treat a lady so whilst some US Comedy Election is carrying on, I go to a couple of Sentrum Bars which are not cheap but at least Afjordable …. There’s usually a choice of 3 games of footie in every pub so, if yau can’t beat ‘em, drink (my motto). Early ish to bed as it’s orf to the station for a 7 hour jaunt to the coast and Bergen The Beguine on my 12 day cruise up to the very north of the world! I’ll play my Arctic Role on this trip…..

Unlike my Oslo breakfast (bleak and tasteless), my first Bergen hotel one is tasty pretty and fulfilling you’re all delighted to hear I’m sure. Of Norse you are! Even the butty in the train was super… as is the dramatic trek across mountains and fjords to reach this amazing coastal locale. The bars too have only 2 games of footie on 12 screens so that’s something…the Norwegian Guinness type stuff is powerful too (at £10 a glass)…..

The hotel in Bergen has a personality problem however with Google Maps calling it Heiman and Apple Maps Augustin. The signs at breakfast say Augustin but the room greeting says Heiman! Better get this trip done before next year’s big Thor for Gawd’s sake….actually it’s a very reasonable 4 degrees, and in 4 days it’ll be minus 10 so ice should end days 1 & 2 on that chilly note.

Sea Sharp.