Nordically Norther and Norther

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Trondheim was a fog of a visit, “Romantic multi-coloured wooden houses lining waterways which wend through Norway’s Third City…..”

HUMBUG. Was all covered in fog mist and SUBWAY shop signs gleaming through the gloaming, and a most undelightful rapid schlepp back to Mrs Castor (the ship) along a misty motorway got me back on board for more Full Board and lodgings, after the previous evening’s utter glory of about a half hour of Aurora Borealis, Northern Lights to you, Nigel. Ably assisted by the exposure time toggle of my spanking new iPhone 16 Pro Max Bygraves, suddenly greens and hints of reds to come emerge across the night sky, thus fulfilling a life long List item de Bucket….and at these prices (darn reasonable actually), how lovely would it be for more more and even more as we cross tomorrow morning into THE ARCTIC CIRCLE.

In other important news, the Oslo IPA in the bar ain’t ‘alf bad.

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Teach Yourself Norwegian: Volume 2

Add another consonant of the same type to most words, such as: Trumpp Stumpp Lumpp Crumpett “Buss Stopp” minutt klokke (they snookk in an extra e there) stygg takk (as in takk you very muchh) storfekjøtt (usually tough as old boots) and finally kropp (as in “nice kropp, shame about the eekk” ….

Well it’s Day 7 of the wholenn trippenn…that’s Day 4 of this remarkable cruise thing going to The Final Frontier (‘oop North). As we’re now above 66 degrees Platitude, this is the Yer Actual Official Arctique. The next 5 days will be spent reaching the most northernmost Coavh Trip ever devised (photo opp, gift shopp, one stopp, clippity clopp) then time to Putin an appearance at The Russian Border (it says here)….there’s been greenery (Northern Lights) last two nights, and before I Aurora Bore Ye Alice (to tears), I must say I’d like more colours please.

Today on deck there was a ceremony for crossing into L’Arctique (by Paco Rabanne), by a Havila Crew Member shoving an ice cube down your neck, and you got rewarded with a thimble of lingonberry juice. I took pix and reached for my hat. Which was in the cabin, along with a hot coffee and an “orange biscuit” which is Norwegian for Jaffa Cake.

Meanwhile what doesn’t cease to thrill me is the view from the ship….flords snow pretty towns twinkly lights lighthouses and a seasoned barman (basil perhaps) offering words like “try the botanical Bergen gin”. I did and will be having more tonight. Within the ship, total peace (greenest quietist ship on the planet apparently), not too much hard sell of anything, done if the best food ever encountered, and some sweet gentle quite chatty people ….. oh and by the way tech fans, great WiFi. It gets dark earlier and earlier up here but we’ll still have 6 hours daylight by the end of the cruise in a week’s time, so plenty of opportunities to BETWIXT AWAY WHILE THE SUN DO SHINE, you lucky readers……

Final Note: Norwegians like their coffee BLACK. (“Like my men”- Lucy from Peanuts cartoon strip). This means all the coffee machines on board this vessel have variations on milkless coffee, and to lactify it, you have to add what I call Billy J.** Anybody who can decipher this reference will receive a week’s supply of a certain product.

That’s it for now.

(** Non-Existent Editor’s Note: Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas had pop hits in the 1960’s including Little Children and Do You Want To Know A Secret.)

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