Betwixt The Interim


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Betwixt the Coasts: From West to East in 80 days Part One

You’ve got to admit, we have the latest booking systems….


…said taxi service assuring riders that any credit/debit card at the terminal was fine.

The miserable (he hates his job) driver of course said arriving at Terminal 5: “Cash only” …

Luckily….. etc etc


So begins Betwixt the Coasts: From West to East in 80 Days (2023)….or “it’ll get funnier pretty soon…”

Other Business Lounge News: Champagne’s Off! It’s Rose Prosecco and her Orchestra ruling Mrs Roost. Oh well, good to swallow a diazepam with…until waiter “Anthony” (he looked like an Anthony) said “You only have to ask…”

Two glasses of Heidesieck Monopole later, I’m on board BA0296 to LAX having been sent to both wrong Terminal Boarding Regions (B & C) … if I’d stayed put, I’d have had more time for more champagne and less time to pant.

Flight? Wonderful. Food, fantastic… journey smooth as silk, booze...

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Betwixt UK and USA Interimly Speaking…


Counting down to my mammoth trip (“Mammothist”, Non-Existent Ed.) across the Pond, and having finished the Biggest Music Project Of My Entire Being (An Open & Shut Cake, 25 glorious songs, it doesn’t say here), I’m exhausted and Biden My Time b4 hopping on a BA 777 to the City of Angels, Oscars and Muscle Beaches….checked in and bought my seat (£106 more pounds Sterling Ker-Ching), and awaiting a friend’s arrival for late luncheon whilst observing HMS Branagh (or is that Belfast?)…

A pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord adorns the table and I’ve been informed there’s a “Goujon Deal” today. Go figure.


Apparently there’s a Horny Male here.

This forthcoming trip: “Betwixt West & East Coasts in 80 Days and Half A Pension” is a gamble since a) I’m Old b) Half of my body has been replaced or removed and c) See a).

But all’s well cos if I’m gonna Drop Dead (Gorgeous), at least I’ll do it...

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Yoghurt. In a bar. With Chocolate.

Well would you believe it? Yaar vanilla kefir bars (part of the WH Smith Meal Deal) are manufactured in Estonia!


Whatever happened to Cadbury’s, Galaxy, and Toffo? This is what happens when you leave Europe, you get flooded with er… Estonian Fine Food Fare, what next, Latvian Lollies? Lithuanian Lemsip? Moldovan Moussaka?

Dear Reader, I’m gearing up for my mammoth US adventure next month by venturing oop nerth to visit my alternative family… there will be babies to goo goo ga ga at, curries to devour (very slowly these days, what with my teeth rationing) and pints of Timothy Taylor Landlord Bitter to be bitter and twisted with.

UK transport services still use their almost catchy but mostly irritating slogan when travelling and keeping ones eye beady “See it, Say it, Sorted”. Beware Keir Starmer, that’s better than what you’ve got so far.

“The onboard cafeteria is now serving...

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Betwixt Goes West. West Country (UK)


Welcome back to Betwixt The Interim, your surefire guide to global travel experience hilarity, hibernating since last September. But Lorks, Glory abounds, as King Charles Spaniel gets to consume Coronation Chicken, and I disappear off to Ooh Arr ooh arr (just a little bit), West Country Lands to visit goddaughter, her parents and various super buddies unseen since Covid, Cancer and Art Attack dominated this traveller’s immediate occupation.

Bunting. I bunt, you bunt? There’s a word….the size of said Union Jack Themed decor here at Paddington Station deserves the Penance (Pennants, geddit?) it deserves….namely Coronation minor. It’s all down to Rishi Budget I guess.

People from “Across The World” (Daily Mail) have travelled to the UK to watch Brian May play guitar again atop some Palace or other, whereas Queen Camilla (“CONSORT”-the late QE2) now sees her devious plans bear fruit...

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Betwixt Back Home: It’s TV Review Time


This is for anyone remotely interested in my reviewage….as someone locked away for a year in a Covid bubble followed by a rather wobbly medical emergency and recovery year, my beloved TV experience is rather important. So. Two Series. Both with Stanley Tucci.

Stanley Tucci (BBC2/CNN) in Italy (season 2) is a beautiful gentle stroll through his old country eating drinking and talking. It’s reassuring and simple, and gets you hungry quite quickly.
Tucci MAIN.jpg

Inside Man is a BBC 4 part drama starring Tucci and David Tennant from the egotistical brain of Steven Moffat. I once had a couple of pints with him in “The Doctor Who pub” (fans will know it). Nice chap I thought, funny and gentle. He took over from Russell T. Davies showrunning “Who” and reinventing and rewriting series after series turning the show IMO into a ghastly extremely smartarse parody of itself and other sci fi despite the...

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Betwixt Over Europe Sitges Edition Part 2


Day 2 and 3. Dear Buddy Aruan’s 50th Birthday Celebrations (delayed by 2 and a half years). Beach Chatting Chuckling Bars Drinking Eating Sleeping Drinking “arguing about Abba” “looking for hats”. Happy Hours. Happy hours.

Drank ate chortled drank.

Did I mention drank?

Day 4 and Day 5. Drank ate chortled drank.

Did I mention chortled?

Watched fireworks swam in warm pooless Med (unlike Brex U K)..

Did I mention ate?

Wrote blog while being observed over shoulder by bored Woman on tube back to London…

Oh yes. Got stalked by TV/movie actor Andrew “Fleabag Vicar” Scott in Sitges so decided to fly home ….. via very weird eatables at Barcelona Club Lounge and poor Cava plus flight delayed so had to have some beer too. Three even.


Lovely flight featuring all male cabaret troupe flight crew so A Lot of champagne. Even more champagne forced to me by cabin boy 20 minutes before...

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Betwixt Hits Europe. Again (with added squits*)

Editor’s note: Squitti Ferritti were a slightly successful band of the 80’s whose output was er immaculately produced rather over regularly….

Day 1 en route to Heathrow….haven’t even made it to tube before urgent plea required to cafe owner to use his loo. Bottom misbehaviour caused by Iron tablets.

Smallest loo in Northern hemisphere….whack my elbow on wall causing pain and loo paper holder to fall apart. Have sneezing fit.

Bad start to third overseas trip of 2022.

Still. Overheated tube carriages can at least confirm my incorrect choice of chunky jacket with extra padding, just like this blog.

Heathrow Terminal 5 has all the charm of a brand new vacuum cleaner with queues. Still. The “World Traveller Plus” Fast Track provides a sense of superiority whilst still standing around for an age behind Kids Who Scream.


IT IS NOW NECESSARY to request champagne! I mean what the...

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Let the already wealthy make buckets more of easy dosh or look after your nation? Truss is the worst thing to happen to the UK in a long long time.

After the Covid years and Brexit current and future decades have allowed the rich to get obscenely richer and Opportunism to allow hundreds of Tory Cronies to make fortunes, and fake companies cream off millions for personal gain, it’s clear that the Tories will now encourage energy companies to continue to make billions, for all green measures to be dropped, for grim fracking and pollution to be more and more common, and for a country where cruel treatment of immigrants, a staff crisis in the NHS and hugely increasing poverty, is rapidly emerging.

This is so not a place where children can look forward to a happier place. Greed is now allowed to flourish.

ENJOY your time in government you lot. People can’t survive in this climate of self-interest.

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Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson.jpg

My take: Will this resignation end the longest period of dishonesty in British Politics, instigated by Dominic Cummings’ three hedge fund billionaires in a plot to install a puppet government in the UK run by a puppet, (purely to reinstate massive deregulation of rich people’s profits and businesses)?

Politics will take a long time to revert to a return to Truth and Fairness. Methinks. The “cabinet” which remains is stacked full of appalling embarrassment and stupidity. God help us, and who by the way, has ever LISTENED to people like Braverman (Suella) Dorries (Nadine) and Patel (Priti The Wicked)? Sheer horror. Ignorance, cruelty and nonsense.

The MPs now calling for Johnson’s departure include many of the despicable Brexit Liars like Steve Baker, Michael Gove and Andrew Brigden, plus the sycophants Zahawi, Truss, Sunak, Raab, Javid, Ludicrous Rees-Mogg, and many others. These are...

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Betwixt Wedding And Road Trip 2022 Part 4 (incorporating France is a different Cuttle of Fish). Phew. Last Bit. “Finally”(Cheers Ce Ce Peniston).


Nightmarish voices are ringing in me ‘ears “In Euro or in Pound? In Euro or in Pound?” The Brexit scenarios are kicking in…I have a UK passport (so it’ll be MORE of a pain everywhere)…

Still, what a nearly three weeks it will have been after nearly 7 days coming in the land of ‘Allo ‘Allo (for non BBC viewers, and if you’re vaguely young, this is a very strange sitcom about the German Occupied France in the Second World War, involving Herr Gruber’s Little Tank, the head of the local SS forever trying to find a painting of the Madonna with the Big Boobies or something, plus British people trying to speak French badly, conveyed by them speaking English very badly “Good Moaning, I spick poefickly wool” type thing….)

Love France though, food, cities, countryside, food, wine, champagne, Eiffel Tower and champagne.

Arrived after three slightly tortuous RENFE SNCF and OUIGO (see what they...

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