Video evidence click here!

So I went to the postbox. I shouldn’t really, cos yes after Cancer Surgery a Triple Heart Bypass and Arse-ache on my sofa, I FINALLY CAUGHT FLIPPING COVID. 6 days ago. Cough, splutter.


Ho Ho Ho, and many of you might add, Ho.

So as a message to my adoring fans (that’s you two in the Landor Pub, oh and Samantha my ever patient South African physio, Jeremy, control yourself), and the rest of you enquirers (there’ve been loads actually, bless you)…. Here’s this Queen’s Christmas Message

*So I say Thank you for the Lemsip, the NH-essing
Gets you through when life’s distressing
Who can even bother to hear all Abba’s new stuff
I’ve had enough
Day Four of Covid and my voice is quite gruff

So I say thanks to all for helping
And EVERYONE get jabbed*

South London was quite busy before I caught this thing, and I gather the West End was heaving yesterday. So I suspect we’ll have an imminent lockdown…and self-isolation across the nation, and that means no charades with Aunt Agatha, or tropical holidays unless you’re already there

The Christmas message from Harry and Meghan will be available on Netflix (£12.99/month high definition)

The Christmas Day Turkey Wellington from M&S will be accompanied by Bread Sauce from a packet dated “Use by 2017” as everywhere it’s sold out.

Still next year is probably another year. I said this in 2020, and ended up without a paddle down a familiar creek.

What the world needs now, is love, sweet love, plus a new selection of vaccines. I’m not going to get political, but under the American President Kamala Harris, and British Prime Minister Jess Phillips, the world can surely be a better place in 2022.

Happy New Year, and I see a lot of you next year, whether you like it or not.


Christoph xxx


Now read this

Betwixt Wedding And Road Trip 2022 Part One

Hi campers. Naturlich I’m starting this Road Trip across Spain and France by er Air. Gatwick looks rather wrecked to be honest, escalators and lifts largely kaput, and one and a half cafes (pre Club Lounge), and ya need a Very Long Neck... Continue →