Betwixt the Coasts: From West to East in 80 Days Part 9: Deal me a card from the Poopdeck


Ok starting to get pooped after long walks…this 67 yrs learning that you need a rest after a three hour walk, even in the rather historical and spectacular mini-metropolis that is Philly (not the cheese) Philadelphia founded a zillion years ago, formerly Top Spot in the US charts (way b4 the Philly Sound, though there is a Gamble & Huff Walk.)…huge LGBT scene and swanky Sonder “Unit” is Slap Mrs Bang centre of Red Light City….

The historical stuff is all about the Independence and Presidential Whatnot and Lots of statues (including a Rocky statue …. The famous steps in the movie are a rather major landmark it seems) and….. the Liberty Bell which doesn’t Bong Anymore.

Chinatown….lots of Dim Sum places….nearly made a mistake of ordering lunch at a Chinese Reflexology place, asking for a steamed neck massage, two spicy waxed legs and a foot bath, with tea…well they LOOKED edible..

I do recall the AIDS issue movie with Tom Hanks entitled “Not the Cheese”. Can’t to this day recall whether or not it was brilliant….but there was some Springsteen song in it called “Not the cheese” methinks….

Have observed that Philly (not the cheese) streets are mostly named after trees, like Walnut Street, Chestnut Street, Spruce Street, and of course the street of my hotel, Locust St. Mmm….

Fekkin’ ‘eck ….someone just “boxed” about 24 French Fries at the bar of the Bar I’m In!
Must get peckish later…. Still when the chips are down (and old…)… have I mentioned they BOX everything? Someone even boxed half a slice of cheesecake ….


I’ve well and truly done the local specialty which is “Phillysteak”. If you go for a proper big one, it’s basically ground beef (mince!) smothered in cheese and onions on a warm baguette type thing.. much much better to my mind is the most glorious “Twisted pretzel Phillysteak” made by Miller’s Twist and available for £4 in the wonderful Reading Terminal Market (not where Berkshire OAPs go to meet their maker I should add). This thing is basically a very fresh hot pretzel dipped in beef gravy and smoked cheese with slices of roast beef inserted liberally and deliciously. Oh my…. Wondrous


Then in this bar next to My Unit, the (unbelievably cute) new arrival in a “Hurts” football shirt starts looking at his ahem Grindr (other apps are available).., I go all….let’s get the phone out and write this quick! Philly is actually a most fascinating mixture of young and old, shiny and worn, beautiful and slightly inappropriate…. poverty lurks (like in the US lots of street sleepers sadly)… but great people again and funny too….There’s a kind of quaint olde Worlde bit too which is very quiet and takes me back about 200 years…. Oddly that’s where The Dorchester is!


But then as is predicted life goes on for me and my final Doctor Legge, my hintermost hurrah and my penultimate passage, to the huge Granny Smith, my fave city of them all. But will it still be? Is anyone still awake? Are we at war with Mars yet? Is Ed still Shearin’?

Philly (not the cheese) is only an hour or so by rocket train to NYC. I will arrive there just before The Giving Of Thanks.

Only Two More Parts to this non-Endless Epistle. Coming to a Web Server Near You (probably in Afghanistan, I gather), Part 10: Manhattan: Cleavage or Bust?



Now read this

Betwixt the Coasts: From West to East in 80 Days Part 7: “Chicago, Chicago, (Will the hotel overcharge me for the third time, if not:) What a Wonderful Town”

Yeah really. I’ve had to claw back (successfully as it happens) 138 so far (1. “Our Accounts System was faulty” and 2. “It was another room number, sorry”…no I did not bloody well have 5 Tropical Sunrises by the pool thank you very... Continue →