Betwixt Hits Europe. Again (with added squits*)

Editor’s note: Squitti Ferritti were a slightly successful band of the 80’s whose output was er immaculately produced rather over regularly….

Day 1 en route to Heathrow….haven’t even made it to tube before urgent plea required to cafe owner to use his loo. Bottom misbehaviour caused by Iron tablets.

Smallest loo in Northern hemisphere….whack my elbow on wall causing pain and loo paper holder to fall apart. Have sneezing fit.

Bad start to third overseas trip of 2022.

Still. Overheated tube carriages can at least confirm my incorrect choice of chunky jacket with extra padding, just like this blog.

Heathrow Terminal 5 has all the charm of a brand new vacuum cleaner with queues. Still. The “World Traveller Plus” Fast Track provides a sense of superiority whilst still standing around for an age behind Kids Who Scream.


IT IS NOW NECESSARY to request champagne! I mean what the heck are we meant to take our Valium with???


Still 3 champagnes and a Gordon’s seem to do the trick. The flight was food perfect and Old Nic Feuillete galore sadly ending in a one hour queue for non EU people at Barcelona Airport and a game of Hunt The Bus to follow.

Still, another game of Spot The Right Knob accompanied the most confusing hotel shower in history, and when water Strombolied out from 5 separate sprinklers, I towelled and dashed to meet my friends adjacent to said Parrot hotel.

Thankfully a cold San Miguel awaited.

More soon Sports Fans. Bet you can wait.


Now read this


Video evidence click here! So I went to the postbox. I shouldn’t really, cos yes after Cancer Surgery a Triple Heart Bypass and Arse-ache on my sofa, I FINALLY CAUGHT FLIPPING COVID. 6 days ago. Cough, splutter. YES I DID. Ho Ho Ho, and... Continue →